Princess high-die

Welcome to the masquerade ball. I'm Elodie Eade and you need to get the hell off my lawn. Do tell me your stories and let's fill in the chapters as we go.

Thursday, February 14, 2013

D and D

BUT I DONT WANT TO START SCHOOL!
*sigh* what am I even talking about? I sound like my hamster.
Let's do this again.
BUT I DONT WANT TO START WORK!!

Ok that sounds worse. I'm gonna cry.

P.S I really don't

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

"Finally?" Maybe Not Really.

While I have not updated the blog, I have been away to Malaysia for five days to celebrate the new year with my families. You know, the ones you hardly know yet feel obligated to laugh along with? You got it.
It would be a shame to say the 70-something countdown dedicated to the five days was a waste but it wasn't--not really. It went by real quickly though. Damn good days, where you be rushing to? Zero responsibilities.. Well, maybe except for the couple (okay, more) of arguments I got into with my father, brother and sister... I'm a brat but at least I'm a sensitive little nut unlike you bigoted, gender biased little shit who STILL believes that women are less than superior as compared to men. We wash your feet while you file away the solid, lifeless, 'important' golden parchment while it shits on us all. I didn't lie, dad, when I said I would get upset. Eh maybe I shouldn't have called my father 'shit'.

But while that's said, it was a pleasure to lay away reality for a bit and engage myself among strangers with pretense. I learn from these occasions, really. I didn't feel needed or wanted, I didn't feel like I had fitted in even, and that was all when I repeated Coco Chanel's words a dozen times over and then I feel better. It's drug for the primadonna sweetheart. I don't need attention, you can save it for your wet pillow.

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Monday, February 4, 2013

Devil's Prey

I couldn't be sure who wrote this but I'll tell you now it sure as hell isn't me. Read on: "Did you know, you can quit your job, you can leave university? You aren’t legally required to have a degree, it’s a social pressure and expectation, not the law, and no one is holding a gun to your head. You can sell your house, you can give up your apartment, you can even sell your vehicle, and your things that are mostly unnecessary. You can see the world on a minimum wage salary, despite the persisting myth, you do not need a high paying job. You can leave your friends (if they’re true friends they’ll forgive you, and you’ll still be friends) and make new ones on the road. You can leave your family. You can depart from your hometown, your country, your culture, and everything you know. You can sacrifice. You can give up your $5.00 a cup morning coffee, you can give up air conditioning, frequent consumption of new products. You can give up eating out at restaurants and prepare affordable meals at home, and eat the leftovers too, instead of throwing them away. You can give up cable TV, Internet even. This list is endless. You can sacrifice climbing up in the hierarchy of careers. You can buck tradition and others’ expectations of you. You can triumph over your fears, by conquering your mind. You can take risks. And most of all, you can travel. You just don’t want it enough. You want a degree or a well-paying job or to stay in your comfort zone more. This is fine, if it’s what your heart desires most, but please don’t envy me and tell me you can’t travel. You’re not in a famine, in a desert, in a third world country, with five malnourished children to feed. You probably live in a first world country. You have a roof over your head, and food on your plate. You probably own luxuries like a cellphone and a computer. You can afford the $3.00 a night guest houses of India, the $0.10 fresh baked breakfasts of Morocco, because if you can afford to live in a first world country, you can certainly afford to travel in third world countries, you can probably even afford to travel in a first world country. So please say to me, “I want to travel, but other things are more important to me and I’m putting them first”, not, “I’m dying to travel, but I can’t”, because I have yet to have someone say they can’t, who truly can’t. You can, however, only live once, and for me, the enrichment of the soul that comes from seeing the world is worth more than a degree that could bring me in a bigger paycheck, or material wealth, or pleasing society. Of course, you must choose for yourself, follow your heart’s truest desires, but know that you can travel, you’re only making excuses for why you can’t. And if it makes any difference, I have never met anyone who has quit their job, left school, given up their life at home, to see the world, and regretted it. None. Only people who have grown old and regretted never traveling, who have regretted focusing too much on money and superficial success, who have realized too late that there is so much more to living than this."

Welcome back, if you have read through the piece and if you haven't.. what are you doing?
I'll agree to the above statement to an extent though not completely - obviously I would, I have had that established 368480 times before in my scarce amount of posts. Couldn't have said it better myself.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Feathered

You belong to mankind. From the very second you left your mother's womb, you have been free. Have been; counting up the many events that had led you up to right now, while you're reading this.

Think about it: you can literally leave the classroom, leave your workplace, leave home, leave it all and then bring forth your renewed energy to somewhere, something or even someone - anywhere you could only dream of. You can, you will always be able to. Always.

It's the responsibilities you are being held to. It's the afterthought. It's the emotional thread that's binding you to where you are. But you still can, physically, leave it all.

That's why I'm telling you to hold on to this ride and keep playing this game because it's the smartest functioning game ever. It's called Life. It's bound you to the unknown, to your own thoughts even when it's literally possible to free yourself. Oh yes, stop complaining. You're free but you chose to be confined - and that you will always be.

Until the end, you're just a piece. A pretty piece of mankind.

The Gone

Desperation could barely make the mark with the presented essence of despair in a poem, 'poem', I made up and painted my heart with, many years ago. When I was in love. It was the only time I have ever been truly in love. He never loved me back. Ever.



Tell me you love me
Tell me you care
Tell me you'll never leave
Tell me you'll be back


You'll figure out what it means. I know you will, reader.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Destructive Maybe, Impulsive Definitely

I have been meaning to update for a while but my means always manage to fail me somehow. It's either due to the extent of my memory or the limit of the few values I possess, as a person.

Adventure. I won't deny being an adventurous human but I must omit the possibilities from my thoughts every day because of the responsibilities I bear. The temptation, my pleasure and impulse will always surpass my sensibilities no matter what. It's a surprise I'm still alive. I have mentioned this in... I don't know..hmm... every single one of my text posts on this blog all up till this one. The impulse is still there and the urge is getting stronger, I won't lie.
I want someone as adventurous as I am. I want unplanned road trips. I want a late night adventure. I want a two-hour, casual conversation in a silent room. I want to hug someone when I feel pain. I want to hug someone so tightly that I can see the pain fade away, even for a moment when I hold them, in their eyes. I want to no longer be confined by definitions, judgments, rules, and what can be.

I know nobody likes a said-before (many times) rant, but I cannot deny what I feel. And I cannot deny the things I write. As you, anyone, is reading this, I need you to know that I am not typing what you are reading. My inner demons are. My feelings are.

It's gotten to a point when I genuinely no longer care if it's something bad that happens. If it's adventure, I'm fucking in. Give me a fight and I'll say hello.

Hello.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

When It Echoes

I saw the cutest guy ever today. He had on a turquoise hat and he was absolutely charming. I have to say, though, that it is impossibly rare for my heart to flutter that quickly for a complete stranger. It sank--my heart sank at least six feet and I am only five feet tall as a person. It sank and crashed onto the concrete ground, basically.

A shame I left and he did too.

I am also starting a little project and experiment for myself, inspired for multiple posts on tumblr: I have gotten myself a bottle and I'm going to fill it with things that have made and is going to make me feel better, generally. Little things, perhaps the less trivial ones. On the eve of 2014, I will free the tiny notes in the bottle and count my blessings and smile a little bit more on that day.

This is for the 364 days to come.


(picture of bottle to be posted in the following post)