Feathered

You belong to mankind. From the very second you left your mother's womb, you have been free. Have been; counting up the many events that had led you up to right now, while you're reading this.

Think about it: you can literally leave the classroom, leave your workplace, leave home, leave it all and then bring forth your renewed energy to somewhere, something or even someone - anywhere you could only dream of. You can, you will always be able to. Always.

It's the responsibilities you are being held to. It's the afterthought. It's the emotional thread that's binding you to where you are. But you still can, physically, leave it all.

That's why I'm telling you to hold on to this ride and keep playing this game because it's the smartest functioning game ever. It's called Life. It's bound you to the unknown, to your own thoughts even when it's literally possible to free yourself. Oh yes, stop complaining. You're free but you chose to be confined - and that you will always be.

Until the end, you're just a piece. A pretty piece of mankind.

The Gone

Desperation could barely make the mark with the presented essence of despair in a poem, 'poem', I made up and painted my heart with, many years ago. When I was in love. It was the only time I have ever been truly in love. He never loved me back. Ever.



Tell me you love me
Tell me you care
Tell me you'll never leave
Tell me you'll be back


You'll figure out what it means. I know you will, reader.

Destructive Maybe, Impulsive Definitely

I have been meaning to update for a while but my means always manage to fail me somehow. It's either due to the extent of my memory or the limit of the few values I possess, as a person.

Adventure. I won't deny being an adventurous human but I must omit the possibilities from my thoughts every day because of the responsibilities I bear. The temptation, my pleasure and impulse will always surpass my sensibilities no matter what. It's a surprise I'm still alive. I have mentioned this in... I don't know..hmm... every single one of my text posts on this blog all up till this one. The impulse is still there and the urge is getting stronger, I won't lie.
I want someone as adventurous as I am. I want unplanned road trips. I want a late night adventure. I want a two-hour, casual conversation in a silent room. I want to hug someone when I feel pain. I want to hug someone so tightly that I can see the pain fade away, even for a moment when I hold them, in their eyes. I want to no longer be confined by definitions, judgments, rules, and what can be.

I know nobody likes a said-before (many times) rant, but I cannot deny what I feel. And I cannot deny the things I write. As you, anyone, is reading this, I need you to know that I am not typing what you are reading. My inner demons are. My feelings are.

It's gotten to a point when I genuinely no longer care if it's something bad that happens. If it's adventure, I'm fucking in. Give me a fight and I'll say hello.

Hello.

When It Echoes

I saw the cutest guy ever today. He had on a turquoise hat and he was absolutely charming. I have to say, though, that it is impossibly rare for my heart to flutter that quickly for a complete stranger. It sank--my heart sank at least six feet and I am only five feet tall as a person. It sank and crashed onto the concrete ground, basically.

A shame I left and he did too.

I am also starting a little project and experiment for myself, inspired for multiple posts on tumblr: I have gotten myself a bottle and I'm going to fill it with things that have made and is going to make me feel better, generally. Little things, perhaps the less trivial ones. On the eve of 2014, I will free the tiny notes in the bottle and count my blessings and smile a little bit more on that day.

This is for the 364 days to come.


(picture of bottle to be posted in the following post)